4 Simple Steps to Get You BOTH Back to the Honeymoon Stage
By Kim Sarrasin
You know your relationship is in a 'rut' when you're having thoughts like:
"He doesn't do romantic things for me anymore"
"She's always complaining, why make an effort"
"We don't communicate anymore"
"We're too busy to spend time together"
When two people have been together for awhile it's inevitable that the 'bloom will fade from the rose' at some point. Maybe you're arguing more or you have things you want to communicate but your not sure how to start because there just doesn't seem to be enough time with your hectic schedules.
If we put relationships in the context of the 4 seasons, this is what it would look like:
Spring
It's the beginning of a new relationship and everything is exciting and new. Your eating less, losing weight and don't feel like sleeping as much. Seeds of the possibility of a future with this new person are getting planted.
Summer
Everything is laid back. Love is in full bloom. The nervousness has worn off and you just feel like lazing about enjoying each other's company.
Fall
It's time to bring in the harvest from the seeds you planted in the Spring. Maybe your engaged or moving in together. Your enjoying the 'fruits of your labour of love' and have fallen into a natural rhythm with each other.
Winter
Cabin fever is setting in. Your wondering if it is EVER going to stop snowing/raining/is she going to stop complaining. Your putting on weight and questioning if this is the right partner for you.
The Winter of a relationship is the 'season' I want to address. Of course the Winter of a relationship can happen at any time of year. At this stage, it's possible that two people have completed everything they need to do together and it's time to move on. For others, the love is still there, but all that's required is to open up the windows of possibility again and let the fresh Spring air in.
4 Simple Steps to Get You BOTH Back to the Honeymoon Stage:
1/ First and foremost it's crucial that you look back and remember why you were originally attracted to each other. What qualities about this person had you fall in love with them? When you begin to remember what it is you love about them, it will re-awaken and have you see them more as a person instead of just a husband/wife or girlfriend/boyfriend.
2/ Romance: Romance is like rocket fuel for women. If women had their way, their lives would look like a never ending date! If the woman in your life isn't looking happy lately than the best place to start is by putting attention on her. The kind of attention women like can be as simple as asking how her day was, giving her an impromptu foot massage or bring her flowers 'just because'. These small gestures are HUGE in a woman's world and will have her purring with appreciation for you in no time.
3/ Appreciation: If your man has been less than enthusiastic to do things for you lately, then it's time to let him know how much you appreciate what he does for you. Men are very short on approval out in the world and rely on the woman in their life to let them know that their doing a great job. If you really look, there are probably a number of things your man is doing on a daily basis that you take for granted. Does he always take out the garbage? Is he working hard to bring home the bacon so you don't have to? Look for what he does do and start thanking him for every small thing he does. Just like romance is rocket fuel for women, appreciation is rocket fuel for men and will ignite his enthusiasm to do more for you.
4/ Date Nights: If you both have busy schedules and haven't had much time for each other, then it's time to schedule in weekly Date Nights. A Date Night is when you turn off the cell phones, get a babysitter and carve out time for just the two of you. This is a great opportunity to get acquainted again and rekindle the romance that was present in the beginning.
Sending you lots of love and wishing you tremendous dating and relationship success!
